Comparing Drafts Feedback

I thought it would be a good idea to ask my target audience to see what they think of my improvements from my first draft to my second and see if they can think of any change they would make to the magazine pages at this stage.  Here are there responses when I showed them the comparison between the two:

• "I think that overall the second drafts look a lot more professional and lot more informative for the read, compared to the first draft."

• "With the front cover, I think that by including the skyline at the top having a sort of motto for the magazine, brings it to life more. My only improvement would be to add something like "Britain's new acoustic magazine" so the audience know what genre music magazine it is. You could probably guess but it would be better to mention it on there so the buyer can recognise straight away and have no doubt in their mind that this is the magazine they were looking for."

• "You have defiantly improved the double page spread, as it looked rather bare and uninteresting, which wouldn't have grabbed your target audiences attention, I think. Therefore, the brief description (stand first) about Mia, teases us, the reader wanting to find out more. However, it could by made better by somehow making the text stand out more as at places, it is difficult to read."

• "I agree with your decision to chose the contents page with the old paper as the background due to the fact the text is more visible, as some of the text in the other one is kind hard to read. Also, I think with too much information on that page (which I'm guessing you'll be putting on) would ruin the one with the guitar in, whereas, with having a more simpler background you can add more and still be able to read everything."

• "I really like the font you have used for your title of your magazine, but I think it needs to be more bold to make it more clear and stand out on the page."

• "This is rather picky, but I can see that you have made the barcode smaller from the first draft, however, I still think it could be a little smaller as it is one of the insignificant things that should take up little space on your page compared to other more important features."

• "Straightaway, the front cover looks more "full", as before you could say it looked a bit bare. Now I think there is enough sell lines on it without over cluttering it and looking messy."

• "By adding the skyline on the front cover, is a great improvement to be honest, as it bring continuity to the magazine. Maybe you should include it in the double page spread too, so show that this concept is the particular house style that the magazine has?"

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Conclusion:

After reading the comments and looking back at each drafts, I agree with what was said and will take their improvements on board and include them in my next draft! I have decided to make a quick to do list so I can refer back to it when making my third drafts.

• Mention that this is an acoustic magazine.
• Change font colours where unnecessary.
• Make the bar code and price smaller on the front cover. 
• Embolden the mast head.
• Add two more original photos on the contents page (as i have realised I have not meet the specification of having 4 original photos include in my magazine.
• Add the old line paper somewhere on the double page spread.
• Add a drop cap (looking back at my previous posts, I remembered I mentioned that I wanted to add this in so that's what I will do!)

I'm sure that I will end up changing more things that I have mentioned above, but here is a brief to do list that I will follow for my third drafts.